Can you read my mind?

Sometimes when you want something to occur ever so badly, it never does. It always ends up being a disappointment. But I find that when you actually don't think too much about what you want to happen, something will happen out of the blue. It's a matter of ridding those thoughts from the mind that maybe something will potentially catch you unawares.

I'm not making any sense here I guess.

The weather has been odd lately. Mid spring and yet we haven't gotten many days of sunny weather. As I type this post in the health sciences library, it's basically overcast. There are rare patches of blue in between yet the sky is pretty much just grey. It is certainly odd for Sydney to be experiencing such weather but whatever.

Things haven't been entirely ideal lately. I feel like I am trying so hard to pick everything back up. Sometimes things change and you have no control over anything, no matter how hard you try. That's what sucks the most, when trying doesn't give anything in return. I'm ready to step into 2012, I would like 2011 to be over already. Or maybe take me back to the first half of the year.

Travel Photos

Discovered the joys of editing photos in photoshop.... These are just some of the shots I've been editing, they're not perfect, but they're what I saw on my travels.

Changes

September already. Incredible isn't it?

In 2010, September was signalling the end of an era and there were times when everything felt mucked up, messy and nerves were all that were present.

What's truly odd is when I see people from high school now......most of them whom I've not seen since graduation. I feel like they're people I don't know anymore and what's weirder is that I used to see them all the time at school, perhaps even say a hello or two and engage in small talk. And those whom I never see at all but only through photos on facebook and all the like...well, their familiar faces have turned into stranger's faces. I guess time does get you down a bit and the rapid progression of this year has really shifted things.

Sometimes I do think about school when I look back at photos. What I truly miss are those small little times that go unappreciated but once you're out of schooling, you'll never have them again. Like how we stood in front of the drama shed, waiting for our names to be marked off then boarding the bus. Like how we thought we were such adults for making it to year 12 but little did we know that we were still exceptionally naive (and still naive to this very day).

Normality has changed even more. As much as I wish to see my high school friends everyday, it's now my uni friends whom I see everyday. Nothing wrong with that, but that has actually become the norm. 'How much have I changed in high school?', I ask myself. And the answer is ... quite a bit. High school was a rite of passage but through uni, I think I am discovering and finding new things about myself.

And I remember thinking a few weeks ago....that now really feels like 2011. The sentimental side of me keeps me in 2010 for the first half of the year where I lament over everything good that had happened in the last year. But upon a series of thinking and just reflecting, I feel like I can ultimately let those memories rest and linger inside a space in my cerebral cortex which I have closed off. Maybe I'll let these memories flow in sometimes but they're only the past and there's nothing I can do to either change or experience these again.

2011 has been good, despite my complaining. Here's to hoping that I live in 2011 and not travel back to 2010 for the rest of the year.

Codex

My sister has been in Bathurst for around a week now. She won't be coming home till the end of the week and she's there for some rural pharmacy placement. What's strange is how I am pretty used to her absence. I suppose as you grow older, life kinda catches up. She's a legit adult now and I presume she has a pretty big life out of home. One day we'll all grow up and separate, lead separate lives etc. It's kinda scary to think about it that way because I have grown up with her all my life. But hey, guess that's what natural life progression is all about.

Above is an unfocused photo of what I had for breakfast. Well, I had a smoked salmon sandwich first and then finished it with mango + passionfruit yoghurt topped with some chopped strawberries. The yoghurt I had was of the 'Gippsland' brand...not too sure what it is but my oh my, their yoghurt is one of the creamiest and thickest I've ever had. The other day, I had some yoghurt from Westfield Pitt Street Mall. What appealed to me most about the yoghurt was how luscious the mango looked and thereby, I really wanted to eat it. The yoghurt was so disgusting, sour even and so despite paying around $6 for it, I chucked half of it away. Unbearable and utter shite. Nevertheless, I shall bail. August is ending soon.....it's kinda odd and strange.

Lethargy

I don't know why but on this particular day I don't feel like doing anything. I wrote a lot of notes up at uni and now that I am home, all I want to do is just be lazy and do no jack shit whatosever. I am so fucking lazy right now.

I had a coffee at uni today...perhaps my coffee kick is wearing off and now I don't have the motivation to complete any of my notes despite knowing that I have shitloads to go through. Uni is seriously screwing my brain and I am so fucking tired everyday. Why did I anticipate uni? HSC was so easy...I miss maths. Eh.

Anyway, I think I will try to do something to make use of time. I want better marks >.>

So Cut

Today was a pretty depressing day at uni. Well first up we had our anatomy pract class where we sat in our usual groups. Last week we had two Caucasian girls sitting on our table and they were both nice I suppose. But this week....we involuntarily formed our own token Asian table i.e. the girls ditched us for other smaller groups. It's like...all the Asians get shoved into one group whilst the majority of Caucasian decent just simply clumped together.

My pract group felt pretty sad. We didn't think we were really that Asian, in fact, we weren't even fob. But for some reason, it made us feel like fobs and that we were just 'The Asians'. I don't even know why there is some segregation amongst people. What's even more weirder is that when I look through my facebook friends list, the majority of my friends are of Asian decent. There's nothing wrong with that but I just feel like multiculturalism is kinda...non-existent in my circle. Ah well? Not happy.

Tumblr

My blogspot has been rather dry as of late and that's because I've converted to tumblr.

I think it's time to leave this blog for good. High school's over and now I'm 18.

http://lisbonoh.tumblr.com/

Bon Iver blog URLs. Please don't sue me Justin Vernon.

Drip away

It's pouring rain outside right now. Or at least it seems to be outside from my room. My roof of my room is apparently of a different making to the rest of my house and thereby, whenever it rains, it's particularly loud in my sector. But I love it, I love hearing the incessant pitter patter throughout the night and the occasional car that skids across the slippery roads. The wet, being ever so unpleasant when caught in it as suggested by many, is always beautiful to listen to and observe when inside.

I personally love being caught in rain, not the heavy type but the moderate type. I love it even more when I can feel droplets falling onto my coat or even when they're attacking my umbrella so fiercely. I don't even mind it when I get moderately wet hair or anything, it's part of the charm of the rain.

Many people have questioned as to why I love the rain. They think I am out of my mind for loving what they call dreary and miserable weather. I don't view it that way, I think its rather cathartic and melancholy in the most romantic and beautiful sense. I didn't love the rain as much before and I only grew to love it when I was caught in so many episodes of rainfall in London when I visited, earlier this year. The locals are indifferent to the rain, with many preferring to wear their beanies bound tight to their heads, only reaching for the umbrella for refuge when there is a deluge. They walk ever so nonchalantly in the cobbled streets of London against the backdrop of magnificent buildings that are just simply admirable. It's a very romantic atmosphere there or at least what I had experienced. The rain was just everywhere, pouring onto the streets all the time and walking through it, being all cold and wet, it really didn't matter at all. I was in London....living life in the rain...

I wish I had the words to describe what I feel with the rain now. However, before you think I am insane, let me remind you that I do love good weather as well. But rain is at its core always more and more beautiful than sunshine.