Rainy Day.

It rained a lot today. That photo above is not mine though. 

I remember exactly a year ago today...it rained a crap load. I think I went out to karaoke with some school friends, we had planned this outing ages ago as well...before the HSC even started. Anyhow, it was a hot hot day in the morning...yet as I caught the train home, the sky started to pour. I ran in the rain with my flats and stepped on puddles of dirty water and hence, contracted a damn foot infection which was rather annoying. Funny how it's all still so vivid in my mind. Because the more I think about it, the more I actually remember...unlike what usually happens with memory deterioration.

I'll be doing my first exam tomorrow. I feel okay about it and I hope I know everything that is presented to me. Guess I shouldn't be blogging eh? But I can't resist it. 

Thinking about it, semester 2 went by really quickly. Have I typed this out already? I feel like I have but I don't know. But I guess the main reason why sem flew by was really because of the amount of fun I had. I got a whole lot closer to my uni friends and learnt more and more about such people I hang around with. I have a few friends which I am especially close to and I am grateful for that. However, like myself a few of them want to pursue other studies, not physiotherapy. So I don't know whether or not I will be farewelling them in the future and if so, it would be a shame. But I wish them well in all their endeavours. 

Leaf House

Exams are creeping up so soon and I wish I could say I was exceptionally prepared but that is not the case unfortunately. Lately I've been thinking about the future and what will become of my life in the most realistic sense. There is a part of me who still wants to pursue medicine but if I want to keep my feet on the ground and not stretch my imagination too far, I think in the end I'll still become a physiotherapist.

Today we went to Bardwell Valley Golf Club for dinner. The food was quite nice and golf course that the club overlooked was amazing. And that led me thinking back to the time when I was in the Hunter with my uni mates during sem 1 break. Being there at that moment felt something like being able to flee away form the bustles of the city lifestyle and just simply being able to relax amongst nature, which I really liked. So I thought about the future as I sipped my schooner of beer...maybe if I do really become a physio, maybe one day I'll end up leaving the city in search of somewhere regional/rural and be amongst trees and all the like. The other dream is to live in the UK and work as a physio there...but that's also stretching it far and plus, physios in UK earn less than those in Australia. Ah. well.

There's really no point to this post...other than the sheer fact that one day I want to be out of Sydney. To where, I don't know at this moment. Be it somewhere rural or even the UK, I'll welcome any change with open arms.

I've got nothing to add or contest.

Waiting for the 7.18...
There's something I realised yesterday as I wrote in several of my personal blogs + diaries etc where I would literally implode if I had no means of expressing my feelings in words. I suppose that by writing it keeps me sane from having all my thoughts haunting my brain and that somehow, I can actually get on with my life.

Have you ever experienced those times when life just feels so great at one second and then everything appears to be tumbling out of control the next? Lately, life feels just about like that. From finishing on a high for the last day of uni, I got home wrote up on how I felt, feeling all that lifted and crushed me throughout the year had helped me become the person I am today. And yet, for some reason, my positive outlook was dimmed by many things, namely the Qantas grounding of its fleet since that situation hits home hard. And then this morning, I woke up to the uncomfortable heat and in other ways, feeling somewhat lethargic and greatly annoyed by every fucking thing. Then I went on facebook, had a bit of an argument with someone who supports Alan Joyce's payrise...and in thinking that, I reckon that person needs a bit of a kick in the head for some common sense. His argument made no damn sense and it was rather hard to resist writing, "LMAO' in response to some of his statements because they were truly that much of a joke.

Nevertheless, I am hankering for my exams to be over. As I look back towards the semester, what was most stressful of all subjects was honestly Functional Musculoskeletal Anatomy B a.k.a FMB. It is seriously one of the most strenuous subjects requiring a lot of brain power. From remembering muscle actions, attachments, innervations of each goddamn muscle to learning ligaments and what each muscle does not do...how it contributes to stability via what mechanism. This subject can drive you crazy. I recall feeling somewhat disillusioned as I learned anatomy A in first semester. I thought the subject was incredibly difficult where we had to learn the muscles of the entire upper limb. Little did I know that upon looking back on that from semester 2, FMA would've been so freaking easy to ace. We're doing everything else except for the upper limb in FMB, go figure. And take into account how many muscles there are in the body and you get serious head implosions. I've heard that anatomy is the worst part in any medical student's schooling and you know what, it is true. It is truly laborious to learn and if you cannot remember where it attaches or what nerve innervates that muscle, say hello to the void.

The holidays after exams are gonna be good I suppose. I will be working at a major stationery store in the city so lonely commutes will be inevitable. The year will be ending soon. 2011, what a year you have been. I've done so much and met so many new people. I've moved on from some things that clouded my mind in 2010 yet gained new problems as I struggle to find the real me and understand what my purpose in life is. I still don't know what I want despite engaging in physiotherapy studies...I wonder how many souls out there are just as lost as I am. And in it all, I haven't accomplished what I had resolved to do in 2011 as of yet and it is highly unlikely that I will. My aspirations are perhaps too high rendering me incapable of achieving what I want. But I guess there is nothing to do in the meantime and what can you do? Ah, just hope for the best..that maybe one day things will become clearer.

I am getting lost in my own thoughts and hence, my reasoning above will probably make no sense to anyone else but myself. Whatever. I shall go study more anatomy now...and wonder what life would be if I was never as shy as I was myself or as afraid.

Fashun

I fucking hate colour blocking.

Heartlines.

I adore Florence + the Machine's newest album, 'Ceremonials'. It is so good that I am going to physically buy a copy from JB Hi-Fi once it is actually released. The tracks I have been listening to online have really made my heart swoon. It's been so long since I have heard something as moving as her music. Not even Coldplay's latest 'Mylo Xyloto' can compare. 

My current favourites from the album are: Heartlines, No Light, No light and Breaking Down.

Massive love for Flo.

Can you read my mind?

Sometimes when you want something to occur ever so badly, it never does. It always ends up being a disappointment. But I find that when you actually don't think too much about what you want to happen, something will happen out of the blue. It's a matter of ridding those thoughts from the mind that maybe something will potentially catch you unawares.

I'm not making any sense here I guess.

The weather has been odd lately. Mid spring and yet we haven't gotten many days of sunny weather. As I type this post in the health sciences library, it's basically overcast. There are rare patches of blue in between yet the sky is pretty much just grey. It is certainly odd for Sydney to be experiencing such weather but whatever.

Things haven't been entirely ideal lately. I feel like I am trying so hard to pick everything back up. Sometimes things change and you have no control over anything, no matter how hard you try. That's what sucks the most, when trying doesn't give anything in return. I'm ready to step into 2012, I would like 2011 to be over already. Or maybe take me back to the first half of the year.

Travel Photos

Discovered the joys of editing photos in photoshop.... These are just some of the shots I've been editing, they're not perfect, but they're what I saw on my travels.

Changes

September already. Incredible isn't it?

In 2010, September was signalling the end of an era and there were times when everything felt mucked up, messy and nerves were all that were present.

What's truly odd is when I see people from high school now......most of them whom I've not seen since graduation. I feel like they're people I don't know anymore and what's weirder is that I used to see them all the time at school, perhaps even say a hello or two and engage in small talk. And those whom I never see at all but only through photos on facebook and all the like...well, their familiar faces have turned into stranger's faces. I guess time does get you down a bit and the rapid progression of this year has really shifted things.

Sometimes I do think about school when I look back at photos. What I truly miss are those small little times that go unappreciated but once you're out of schooling, you'll never have them again. Like how we stood in front of the drama shed, waiting for our names to be marked off then boarding the bus. Like how we thought we were such adults for making it to year 12 but little did we know that we were still exceptionally naive (and still naive to this very day).

Normality has changed even more. As much as I wish to see my high school friends everyday, it's now my uni friends whom I see everyday. Nothing wrong with that, but that has actually become the norm. 'How much have I changed in high school?', I ask myself. And the answer is ... quite a bit. High school was a rite of passage but through uni, I think I am discovering and finding new things about myself.

And I remember thinking a few weeks ago....that now really feels like 2011. The sentimental side of me keeps me in 2010 for the first half of the year where I lament over everything good that had happened in the last year. But upon a series of thinking and just reflecting, I feel like I can ultimately let those memories rest and linger inside a space in my cerebral cortex which I have closed off. Maybe I'll let these memories flow in sometimes but they're only the past and there's nothing I can do to either change or experience these again.

2011 has been good, despite my complaining. Here's to hoping that I live in 2011 and not travel back to 2010 for the rest of the year.