Eh.

I have a strong inclination to just listen to Radiohead now. I'm tired of contemporary pop/indie/synth/electro/rock music. Honestly speaking, they are amalgamating together to sound the fucking same. But Radiohead, oh how you 'gratify' my senses. (in inverted commas because its kinda a quote from Frankenstein - I know; shoot me, please).

Guess if I just have one band to listen to forever, I'd choose Radiohead. You simply can't go wrong with it, you know? I still feel so overwhelmed with sadness when I listen to Fake Plastic Trees. Probably one of the most fragile songs ever written on Earth. I mean, who won't crumble when Thom Yorke's delicate voice sings, 'If I could be, who you wanted all the time...'
I cry and I die.


And 'Reckoner'....Crumbling, yet again. 'Cause we separate like ripples on a blank shore' Oh Thom, you just have an amazing way with words don't you?


I'm rethinking about my funeral songs. I used to really want NYC by Interpol or Kreuzberg by Bloc Party. As soon as I heard Saeglopur by Sigur Ros, I put down that as another consideration. But fuck that, I think I want Radiohead at my funeral. Lucky for those in attendance to be greeted with such amazing music. Please farewell my passing with the greatest of....well, I dunno. Why am I anticipating my own death? Anyway, I think death is scary. Whenever there's something wrong with my body...I get scared. I think, what if this was a serious thing that's happening to me? Will this be the last day on earth? A million thoughts run through my brain and I continually think over the things I could've done better and the other things I wish I didn't do. But that's life for you. ONE DAY THIS WILL ALL BE OVER. AND WE'LL DRIFT OFF INTO SOME SPACE I DON'T KNOW WHAT YET. Heaven seems like an extremely romantic idea. But I'm a realist. I always believe that after death, we simply black out and decompose, as we are to do anyway. Upon death, nothing I write or anything I do will ever matter anymore. Conversations said with past friends, lovers, families.....and all will be lost forever. ONE DAY WE WILL ALL BE GONE. And when you're all gone, only then will people start to miss you. ISN'T THAT A SAD AND TRUE FACT? I mean Michael Jackson, nobody ever valued him when he was alive. But when he suddenly passed away, millions of fans were left extremely depressed and torn by his passing. And those facebook groups made when someone dies wishing them to 'RIP'. It's a very kind thing to do, a kind act to respect someone who probably died of unfortunate consequences. But there's only one thought that lingers in my mind whenever I see those groups and it's just, 'its so unfortunate that they'll never see this ever'. I mean, wouldn't it be nice to be alive to see your own funeral, to see so many people caring about you? But alas, THIS NEVER HAPPENS. Why do we only value others when they are truly gone? It makes no sense. Perhaps the world could be a better place if we started to treat everyone as if they were to die tomorrow or something. One would truly value their moments with the other...

I'm sorry for the somewhat cynical or dark views presented here.
It's somewhat a stream of consciousness I am typing out.
Everything can easily be related to death, you know.