I've got nothing to add or contest.

Waiting for the 7.18...
There's something I realised yesterday as I wrote in several of my personal blogs + diaries etc where I would literally implode if I had no means of expressing my feelings in words. I suppose that by writing it keeps me sane from having all my thoughts haunting my brain and that somehow, I can actually get on with my life.

Have you ever experienced those times when life just feels so great at one second and then everything appears to be tumbling out of control the next? Lately, life feels just about like that. From finishing on a high for the last day of uni, I got home wrote up on how I felt, feeling all that lifted and crushed me throughout the year had helped me become the person I am today. And yet, for some reason, my positive outlook was dimmed by many things, namely the Qantas grounding of its fleet since that situation hits home hard. And then this morning, I woke up to the uncomfortable heat and in other ways, feeling somewhat lethargic and greatly annoyed by every fucking thing. Then I went on facebook, had a bit of an argument with someone who supports Alan Joyce's payrise...and in thinking that, I reckon that person needs a bit of a kick in the head for some common sense. His argument made no damn sense and it was rather hard to resist writing, "LMAO' in response to some of his statements because they were truly that much of a joke.

Nevertheless, I am hankering for my exams to be over. As I look back towards the semester, what was most stressful of all subjects was honestly Functional Musculoskeletal Anatomy B a.k.a FMB. It is seriously one of the most strenuous subjects requiring a lot of brain power. From remembering muscle actions, attachments, innervations of each goddamn muscle to learning ligaments and what each muscle does not do...how it contributes to stability via what mechanism. This subject can drive you crazy. I recall feeling somewhat disillusioned as I learned anatomy A in first semester. I thought the subject was incredibly difficult where we had to learn the muscles of the entire upper limb. Little did I know that upon looking back on that from semester 2, FMA would've been so freaking easy to ace. We're doing everything else except for the upper limb in FMB, go figure. And take into account how many muscles there are in the body and you get serious head implosions. I've heard that anatomy is the worst part in any medical student's schooling and you know what, it is true. It is truly laborious to learn and if you cannot remember where it attaches or what nerve innervates that muscle, say hello to the void.

The holidays after exams are gonna be good I suppose. I will be working at a major stationery store in the city so lonely commutes will be inevitable. The year will be ending soon. 2011, what a year you have been. I've done so much and met so many new people. I've moved on from some things that clouded my mind in 2010 yet gained new problems as I struggle to find the real me and understand what my purpose in life is. I still don't know what I want despite engaging in physiotherapy studies...I wonder how many souls out there are just as lost as I am. And in it all, I haven't accomplished what I had resolved to do in 2011 as of yet and it is highly unlikely that I will. My aspirations are perhaps too high rendering me incapable of achieving what I want. But I guess there is nothing to do in the meantime and what can you do? Ah, just hope for the best..that maybe one day things will become clearer.

I am getting lost in my own thoughts and hence, my reasoning above will probably make no sense to anyone else but myself. Whatever. I shall go study more anatomy now...and wonder what life would be if I was never as shy as I was myself or as afraid.

Fashun

I fucking hate colour blocking.

Heartlines.

I adore Florence + the Machine's newest album, 'Ceremonials'. It is so good that I am going to physically buy a copy from JB Hi-Fi once it is actually released. The tracks I have been listening to online have really made my heart swoon. It's been so long since I have heard something as moving as her music. Not even Coldplay's latest 'Mylo Xyloto' can compare. 

My current favourites from the album are: Heartlines, No Light, No light and Breaking Down.

Massive love for Flo.

Can you read my mind?

Sometimes when you want something to occur ever so badly, it never does. It always ends up being a disappointment. But I find that when you actually don't think too much about what you want to happen, something will happen out of the blue. It's a matter of ridding those thoughts from the mind that maybe something will potentially catch you unawares.

I'm not making any sense here I guess.

The weather has been odd lately. Mid spring and yet we haven't gotten many days of sunny weather. As I type this post in the health sciences library, it's basically overcast. There are rare patches of blue in between yet the sky is pretty much just grey. It is certainly odd for Sydney to be experiencing such weather but whatever.

Things haven't been entirely ideal lately. I feel like I am trying so hard to pick everything back up. Sometimes things change and you have no control over anything, no matter how hard you try. That's what sucks the most, when trying doesn't give anything in return. I'm ready to step into 2012, I would like 2011 to be over already. Or maybe take me back to the first half of the year.