PostSecret

I think this has got to be my favourite post secret post of all time.

Materialistic Bitch

I'm feeling quite materialistic. Below is a visual compilation of the things I am coveting..including
- Leather shorts
- Stripy Shirts
- Plain coats
All photos from Jak and Jil Blog

I hate it....

It's inevitable that something will definitely go wrong when it all sounds too good to be true.

I have lost count of the many times I have been left feeling rather disappointed...since the anticipated outcome never came true.

I should just stop becoming overly excited over things that have never happened as of yet. And why is it always that things just never go to plan? It's so frustrating. I have been so excited bout this....Gah!

Contempt.

I have an incredible hatred towards the world's worst subject, English.

There is no bloody use in English. Yeah we learn it and its all good...until you write stupid essays on stuff that you don't even believe in.

Fucking hell, I don't give a fuck how history and memory is explored in the fucking book, The Fiftieth Gate. Yeah, all these symbolism and metaphors are used extensively to convey this shit and that shit. What-fucking-ever. And how Gate 42 is entirely fictional because history and memory cannot provide everything. Yeah, whatever. Nobody gives a shit.

And don't get me started on belonging.

I highly doubt Shakespeare wrote AS YOU LIKE IT to explore belonging. Oh, they don't belong here and they migrate into a fucking forest to feel belonging. These are all metaphorical interpretations in which we are all reading too much into it. Can't we just fucking read it for the sake of reading?

Oh, and I highly doubt that something in a visual text can accentuate a lack of belonging or whatever. ITS PART OF THE TEXT AND THATS HOW IT WAS COMPOSED. I DOUBT THAT THE COMPOSER CHOSE THAT TECHNIQUE TO EXEMPLIFY THE CONCEPT OF BELONGING OR WHATEVER. THERE I SAID IT.

DUMBEST SUBJECT IN THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD.

AND IT DOESN'T FUCKING HELP WHEN ALL THE TEACHERS IN YOUR SCHOOL MARK IN A STRANGE AND RETARDED WAY. ENGLISH IS THE MOST SUBJECTIVE SUBJECT IN THE WORLD. IT IS THE HARDEST TO MAINTAIN AND THE MARKS FLUCTUATE.

I got so incredibly good in English in the beginnning of last year and it all went down. WHY? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. BUT I BLAME IT ON THE UNPREDICTABLE NATURE OF WRITING CRITICAL RESPONSES. IT'S NOT MY FAULT I CAN'T COMPOSE SHIT. It's just not in me.

Today my heart swings.

x.

So.

So I logged out of facebook for the very last time tonight. Yep, I am not going on that stupid bitch anymore. The more I linger on facebook, the more my stress levels rise. I cannot cope with stress that much longer...it's unhealthy and it makes me feel so terrible. Facebook not only distracted me from my work but contributed to the exponential growth of my stress levels. It's only right to do stop using it. I've deactivated all the emails now...I can receive none.

So if somebody wants to talk to me via fb, well, it'll be a real shame cause I won't see it.

I'll resist the temptation to get on fb...and whenever I feel as if I have his incredible urge...I'll try to suppress it by thinking about the stress it'll induce within me.

I'm better off without it.

In Preparation

In preparation for my up and coming exams, there are several things that I must do:

1. Start completing practice mathematics papers (now that I've finally finished all my maths exercises! :))

2. Practice physics + chemistry questions

3. Finish Legal Studies research

4. English: practice answering A.O.S belonging questions

5. Stop Facebooking! :)

6. Start Working!

Come on Katie! I'm sure you can do it. I'm so sure!

Flow sweetly, hang heavy.

you suddenly complete me....

This is still my favourite song by YYYs. Pure love.

MAPS, ('My A Please Stay'- KAREN O)

WAIT, THEY DON'T LOVE YOU LIKE I LOVE YOU.

VALENTINE'S DAY TOMORROW.

KAREN O DEDICATES THIS SONG TO ROMANCE + TO ALL YOU LOVERS OUT THERE.

VALENTINES DAY. . . . . . . .

.....I HAVE NOTHING TO SAY.

RECORDED BY MYSELF AT THE HORDERN PAVILION.

Tired

I've always loved studying physics...the Space topic really put me back on track and made me appreciate this subject so much more. However, the second topic, Motors and Generators really reinforced how terribly bad I am at this subject. I understand the theory but I cannot seem to actually apply it. I don't know why. Maybe it's also an indication that I don't get it...but I do and it doesn't seem to come through whenever I do my work.

My sister's boyfriend told me to drop it, since I seem to be struggling so much with the easiest concepts. I don't want to since I will be wasting all that time I put into studying it in the beginning.

And last but not least, I am starting to feel really nervous about the coming tests. I'm scared I'm going to let my parents down. I want to perform well in everything...and everything, I mean everything, counts towards that ATAR. ..

Tired by Adele...

Hold my hand while you cut me down
It had only just begun but now its over now
And you're in the heat of moments with your heart playing up cold
I'm between the middle watching hastiness unfold
In my eyes your were smiling in the spotlight dancing with the night
The night
Fell off your mind

I'm tired of trying
Your teasing ain't enough
Fed up of biding your time
When I don't get nothing back
And for what, and for what, and for what
When I don't get nothing back
Boy I'm tired

Where'd you go when you stay behind
I looked up and inside down and outside only to find
A double taking punching hard and laughing at my smile
I get closer you obviously prefer her

Never mind said your open arms
I couldn't help believe the trick me back into them

breathe me

So my sister is off to Hong Kong for around 3 weeks. It's strange in the household right now...cause in no way am I used to her absence as of yet. I mean, I just spent a whole month with her, seeing her everyday and having her drive me around Sydney. In a way, I do miss her. As much as I wanted to sucker punch her (to that I had resorted to facebook to superpoke that action to her), kick her at times, scream at her face and totally ignore her, I can't help but feel rather lonely here without her. It's strange, once you interact with someone so much, your perceptions of them start to skew in unimaginable degrees. I saw how responsible she was and realised how lucky I am to have her as my sister. Although it was quite indirect, but she did take care of me...I mean, who could even be bothered to drive me all around Sydney just to go tutoring. If it was me, I'd be rather annoyed...but no, she did it as if it were something that was part of the norm. So I do appreciate that...

Ah, I want to go to the Phoenix concert....Cecilia told me that they have another show? Gosh, I thought I was out of luck since I couldn't catch them for their first show.

Ahh should I go or not? Well...I do have exams five days after the show...ONE NIGHT IS NO BIGGIE? OR NOT? :(

Revert

So my mum is now back from Hong Kong and everything is back to what it was before. I'm honestly not used to having a mum at home and it all feels rather strange right now. I guess I became more independent with her being away and I learnt to take care of myself in all aspects of life. Living at home just with my sister and my dad has been great and relaxing...I could always do whatever I wanted. Ahah, these holidays were one of the very best and indeed quite memorable (although it was splattered with tutoring sessions every now and then). Regardless of that sad fact, I enjoyed myself a lot.

I still can't believe the holidays are over. Being back at school has been nothing but a surreal experience now. Everything will inevitably end but right now, it's creeping by so slowly.