Sometimes you wake up.
And you feel like death.

Summertime Sadness.

It's the 3rd week back at uni and yet I can't really register it because my mind is always elsewhere, like it has always been for the past year anyway. Oddly enough, education has dropped off my list of priorities. Yes, there are times when I'm just wishing that I could go the further extent of learning everything at uni but these days, living in a fantasy world just seems more ideal. 

I'm still making mistakes these days. I know the right answers as to what to do with a particular person but attachment, that's something I can't shake nor skirt around. It hurts because I know I'm just killing myself, making myself stuck in this never ending loop of self pitying. 

I nearly told him. Somewhat like a confession about every-fucking-thing that has been plaguing my mind and how I really don't know what else to do anymore. But I didn't because I was too afraid of the repercussions. Was it too early? When is the right time to tell someone anything about them...?

I'm tired.

Movies

I watched The Dark Knight Rises again at the cinemas for a 2nd time. The first occasion was on my actual birthday where I really couldn't think of anything better to do other than by watching TDKR and seeing Joseph Gordon-Levitt on the screens.

The movie simply blew me away and is easily one of the best movies I have seen all year, taking into consideration that I do believe I have seen quite many to count. This year is truly a year of comic book films, hailing with the ever so popular The Avengers that kicked started it all.. Then it was The Amazing Spiderman which in my opinion was absolutely subpar, there was absolutely no magic in the film except it being a teen romance flick that included elements of superheroes within it. And the Avengers, despite really liking it at the time I watched it, upon reevalation, it was good for it being so lighthearted but ... in comparison to TDKR, it was just lacking.

So because I was simply so taken aback by Christopher Nolan's epic conclusion to the Batman trilogy, I saw it again by myself. Yes, by myself...in the cinemas. Perhaps I should really stop doing things myself because in all honesty, it just simply suggests elements of being forever alone. But fuck it, it was Batman and upon viewing it the second time, I think I am seriously becoming more and more obsessed with this epic piece of work. I am just so drawn to this world of film making and seriously wish I could spend my life watching films forever. Chris Nolan's statement upon the Colorado shootings talking about how the theatre is a sacred place, where dreams are projected upon the screen seemed rather outlandish at first...but now in the state that I am where I am just so amazed by all the movies I have seen, I finally get it. The world of movies is just so fascinating...whether it being watching the deterioration of someone's relationship in (500) Days of Summer to the fantastical dream world of Inception or reaching out to the craziness that is Blade Runner...I just fucking love movies.

Movies serve as a solace to some place else... In a world where things don't seem to working out in my life, I live everything through the films I watch nowadays. Perhaps that is a form of therapy in the form of escapism from mundane real life.

And then I also am listening to the OST. All these feels. FUCK! I love movies.

Also, a fuck you to those people who only really talk to me because they are bored and fucking requesting for something. What I feel is that I have perhaps most likely been led on to no end because I am a girl who simply feels too much about everything and can easily misinterpret subtle signs of flirting as real interest. Stop being so fucking naive and get a move on with life. Yeah.

This city's here for you.

I have not heard anything so moving and touching in such a long time. This song is reminiscent of something I have heard before...but cannot really verbalise what. But all I know is that I adore this song and I can't stop listening to it.

Bloc Party are back! And I am squealing like I massive fan girl...

And hey, it's August already. How did this happen?
No idea.