rome rome many tears have fallen here.

It seems like all I can listen to is 'Rome' by Phoenix. It's Anton's favourite song by Phoenix and it's slowly becoming my fave as well. I used to adore Armistice though perhaps have grown tired of it since I've listened to it for far too many times. There's something really heartbreaking in the way Thomas Mars sings about smoking cigarettes, 'ashes till it fall fall falls' I've also been watching the vid of Rome I took at their concert.... Guess I am getting pretty darn obsessed. Rome rome rome rome rome.....♥

No sleep, I lose everything.

Listening to: Waves by Metric

I went go karting yesterday with my sister and her group of friends from uni. We went to Eastern Creek Raceway and raced from 5:00 to 7:30. The races were long and gruelling, I honestly thought they were not going to end so I pretty much raced incredibly slowly. However, once I started getting lapped I became really aggressive and started to speed around corners which resulted me in either a) drifting (oh yes!) or b) spinning out into the sand. Apparently, I was spinning out a lot according to the staff there and so he pulled me over and had a talk with me about my driving. Excuse me, I only spun out fking once in that round yet he was saying all this shit about how my braking wasn't right. I came 3rd last in that bloody round. Gah!

The seats on the gokarts weren't entirely comfortable either...everyone ended up getting bruises on their backs... I have one massive bulge on my back right now and it makes me look like Frankenstein's MONSTER. The degree of pain I am experiencing correlates to being...well, being punched repetitively in one area. Blah. My muscles ache as well, perhaps as a result from the incredibly stiff steering wheel. All in all, I hate gokarting but finally getting out of the house and talking to people was perhaps the most fun I had in a while.

On the topic with regard to my sister's friends; she's really blessed to have an amazing group of friends she had found at uni. They're all very sincere, kind and funny people. Talking to them makes me so incredibly excited to go to uni and opened a new optimistic mindset. I can't wait to meet new people and have the time of my life. I heard that uni changes many things and I sincerely hope uni next year will be one incredible trip. It's not that I don't like high school...it wasn't really what I anticipated it to be from the perceptions I had of it in primary, but yes things should change for the better.

Oh, and I got tagged by Michelle for this blog Meme. Unlike her, I think I'll not tag any other blogger for this award...only because I don't know who to tag

To accept the Versatile Blogger Award there are some rules to follow:
1. Thank and link back to who gave you the award.
2. Share seven things about yourself.
3. Pass it along to seven blogs you've recently discovered and enjoy.
4. Leave your recipients a note, telling them about the award.

Thank you Michelle
Seven things about myself:

• I hate long nails
• When I grow old and retire, I am moving to Geelong or anywhere that remotely resembles outback Australia.
• I've flown a plane before
• I am fascinated by lights, citylights, candlelights, the subdued sunlight in the afternoon....anything that illuminates and shines
• Speaking about lights, my favourite time of the day is the moment before it becomes dark
• Perhaps I am too sentimental for my own good
• Lately, I've been crawling back to listening to music that is not the latest i.e. Phoenix's 'It's Never Been Like That', Bloc Party's 'A Weekend in the City', Radiohead's 'Kid A' + 'The Bends' & The Strokes' 'First Impressions of Earth'

we shared a cigarette somewhere addict till it fall, fall, falls.

Listening to: Rome by Phoenix

I love how music can automatically help you remember the memories associated with it. January was perhaps the best month I had all year in 2010. Yes, I can remember it being painfully busy, filled with tutoring sessions all around Sydney but the excitement of always occupying myself, learning and continually having fun was worth it. My mother and brother were both overseas, leaving myself, my sister and my dad in Sydney. My dad works shift work and therefore, there were times when my sister and I would have the whole house to ourselves from 6pm until the next morning. At those times, we'd go out to her friend's house or she'd invite her friends over and one time, we even played mah-jong till the wee hours of 3am ~ 4am. Exceptionally fun and I also do remember it being incredibly hot then as well.

I still remember heading off to Brighton Beach for a saunter in the sand. We didn't swim though, cause I guess we were quite lazy. After that, we drove to this place where they sold fresh Asian vegetables and keeping to my sentimental nature, I reminisced about the past as we drove through. I also remember going to Sushi Rio in the city very often for dinner as well. It was always the late night when we'd head off, around 8:30pm. The city was always filled with people and summer was truly alive then. Ah, I still remember accidentally heading off to the city on the Festival First Night of the Sydney Festival. We were actually really oblivious that that event was occurring as we drove into the city and our efforts in finding parking proved futile.

All in all, January 2010 was thrilling and unbelievably exciting. And here I am, 11 months into 2010 and all I can really think of was that stress free and determined attitude I had back then with all the memories associated with it. Nothing else in this world other than the music I listened to back then can bring me back to those days. Truly unforgettable.

paradise circus by massive attack, meet me halfway by b.e.p., little lion man by mumford + sons, breathe me by sia, while you wait for the others by grizzly bear, a community service announcement by jonathan boulet, remain by delphic, dog days are over by florence + the machine, sleepyhead (acoustic) by passion pit, home by edward sharpe + the magnetic zeroes & the good news by philadelphia grand jury

God I'm very, very frightened I'll overdo it.

"I wanna hurry home to you
put on a slow, dumb show for you
and crack you up
so you can put a blue ribbon on my brain
god I'm very, very frightened
I'll overdo it"

'...you know i dreamed about you, for 29 years before i saw you. you know i dreamed about you, i missed you for 29 years.'

a comment left on a video of fake plastic trees:

‘There is no verse in the history of music that is as hauntingly and infinitely sad than the closing moments of this song, starting at 3:30. It captures the futility of love like nothing else. When in love, the absolute most important thing is to be wanted by that person. It consumes our thoughts and in the end it wears us out. We can never really make that person happy all the time and the inevitable failure comes. Yet we keep putting ourselves through it. We keep thinking we can conquer love.’

songs are only as sad as the listener.

Eh.

I have a strong inclination to just listen to Radiohead now. I'm tired of contemporary pop/indie/synth/electro/rock music. Honestly speaking, they are amalgamating together to sound the fucking same. But Radiohead, oh how you 'gratify' my senses. (in inverted commas because its kinda a quote from Frankenstein - I know; shoot me, please).

Guess if I just have one band to listen to forever, I'd choose Radiohead. You simply can't go wrong with it, you know? I still feel so overwhelmed with sadness when I listen to Fake Plastic Trees. Probably one of the most fragile songs ever written on Earth. I mean, who won't crumble when Thom Yorke's delicate voice sings, 'If I could be, who you wanted all the time...'
I cry and I die.


And 'Reckoner'....Crumbling, yet again. 'Cause we separate like ripples on a blank shore' Oh Thom, you just have an amazing way with words don't you?


I'm rethinking about my funeral songs. I used to really want NYC by Interpol or Kreuzberg by Bloc Party. As soon as I heard Saeglopur by Sigur Ros, I put down that as another consideration. But fuck that, I think I want Radiohead at my funeral. Lucky for those in attendance to be greeted with such amazing music. Please farewell my passing with the greatest of....well, I dunno. Why am I anticipating my own death? Anyway, I think death is scary. Whenever there's something wrong with my body...I get scared. I think, what if this was a serious thing that's happening to me? Will this be the last day on earth? A million thoughts run through my brain and I continually think over the things I could've done better and the other things I wish I didn't do. But that's life for you. ONE DAY THIS WILL ALL BE OVER. AND WE'LL DRIFT OFF INTO SOME SPACE I DON'T KNOW WHAT YET. Heaven seems like an extremely romantic idea. But I'm a realist. I always believe that after death, we simply black out and decompose, as we are to do anyway. Upon death, nothing I write or anything I do will ever matter anymore. Conversations said with past friends, lovers, families.....and all will be lost forever. ONE DAY WE WILL ALL BE GONE. And when you're all gone, only then will people start to miss you. ISN'T THAT A SAD AND TRUE FACT? I mean Michael Jackson, nobody ever valued him when he was alive. But when he suddenly passed away, millions of fans were left extremely depressed and torn by his passing. And those facebook groups made when someone dies wishing them to 'RIP'. It's a very kind thing to do, a kind act to respect someone who probably died of unfortunate consequences. But there's only one thought that lingers in my mind whenever I see those groups and it's just, 'its so unfortunate that they'll never see this ever'. I mean, wouldn't it be nice to be alive to see your own funeral, to see so many people caring about you? But alas, THIS NEVER HAPPENS. Why do we only value others when they are truly gone? It makes no sense. Perhaps the world could be a better place if we started to treat everyone as if they were to die tomorrow or something. One would truly value their moments with the other...

I'm sorry for the somewhat cynical or dark views presented here.
It's somewhat a stream of consciousness I am typing out.
Everything can easily be related to death, you know.

Recount

So I've been landed with a casual job at a food shop in Pitt Street Mall + also a job at The Brain....writing section 1 AOS answers (omg.)

• There are SO many gay people who work in Pitt Street Mall and srsly speaking, they are by far the NICEST customers ever! Gah! I love it when they come in order food, they are so kind about the 5 minute wait as we prepare their food and so darn fashionable. Love them heaps!
• The new refurbished Pitt Street Mall is exactly like the shopping centres in Hong Kong. I am absolutely serious. I don't need to go to Hong Kong anymore....I just simply need to head out to Westfields and bam, Hong Kong - there I am. (except the Chinese People are replaced with .... other people I guess)
• I want to dye my hair peroxide blonde and colour it with streaks of light blue. Though, as I hinted this to my mum she said she'd disown me. Great.
• I really need a new hair cut - though my mum doesn't want me to get one as she is very confused as to what I can actually cut; given how much hair I have...eh.

The Atlantic was born today and I'll tell you how

It's weird to know that both the Tipps formal and the school formal are over now. Odd isn't it? That would truly be the last time we'd congregate together as both a grade and a class. I must be the most boring blogger on Earth, dwelling on how fast time flies and doing nothing about it. But...it's just so hard to swallow - that the familiar routine of going to school 5 days a week is absolutely over.

Both formals were great. The Tipps formal was held at Watersedge in the Rocks by Sydney Harbour - an amazing venue indeed. The music was pumping inside the venue with rnb songs I had no idea what their names were yet I was drawn outside to the balcony and to just look at the harbour - with all the lights reflecting from the water and trains crossing the bridge. On the other side of the Harbour was Luna Park, with the wide open smile of the Luna Park entrance overlooking the Harbour. Looking at Luna Park brought back glorious memories of seeing Phoenix earlier in the year and I sigh - it's been more than 8 months since that night; truly unforgettable and the memories are still so fresh in my mind....fade out, again

The school formal was held at Sheraton on The Park, an obvious upgrade from the Year 10 formal venue of Sheraton Four Points. I was greeted by the warm smiles of my year adviser and the two deputies as I entered the venue. It was a mixture of both happiness and sadness as I saw their friendly faces - knowing for one how kind they were to see us as we entered the formal and sad as I'll not see them on a daily basis no more. Perhaps it is just St George but so many people left the formal early. I stayed till midnight and by then, there were only a select few who were still prancing around on the dance floor. I felt overwhelmed by it all....

Life is a weird trip.

Somebody to Love

Currently really obsessed with this song. It is so freaking catchy and can I say, actually pretty well written. Justin Bieber doesn't sound whiny here at all! So...uhm, kudos to him...

A moment...

Finally signed out of high school and now, other than waiting for an edited reference letter, I'm not a student of the school anymore. These 6 years have gone by too quickly and is perhaps, too hard to comprehend. The sentimental side of me is just reminiscing about it all...and feeling a little lost at how this is truly all over now. Going back to school to do the HSC made me feel as if I was still a part of it all but now, not quite. It's a little saddening to see how Year 11s have already colonised the study areas of the library as their own now whilst others are working out of those temporary 4Unit textbooks that I had only used a year ago. Time flies by too fast and I seriously did not cherish every moment. I guess I had been one who was eager to leave. Not everything was the best in high school but every now and then, I look at those wearing school uniforms on the streets and really wish that I was one of them, one of those kids who were still attending high school.

Anyway, what good is it lamenting over the past now?

The real issue is, I never realised at how quick this would be all over. I truly underestimated time's power...I miss it all already.

General List of Things.

• The new facebook, 'see friendship' page makes everyone sound like they're in a relationship with that person. e.g. 'John Smith and Kerry Jones' --> doesn't that sound like a wedding invitation? :S (maybe its just me...but its just an observation o_O)
• So....I guess the transition from high school to uni means that people go clubbing. I'm seeing so many clubbing photos of my 18 year old friends online now...and for some reason, it makes me feel so uncomfortable looking at them. I cannot honestly picture myself doing what they're doing - donning party dresses and posing for pictures... In so many ways, I still feel like a little girl; I'm not ready to grow up
• Formal shopping is an absolute bore. I really hate it. It doesn't help when half the dresses are either a) out of the price range or b) not pretty....
• I kinda love the unpredictability of the weather. It's funny to see people heading out in summer gear then coming home drenched by the stormy weather. I must be the most unsympathetic person out there with regard to weather misfortunes.
• Who knew that singing Justin Bieber at karoake could possibly be extremely therapeutic (and fun)?
• Green Tea icecream is delicious.

Powderfinger - The Farewell

I saw Powderfinger at the Acer Arena on Saturday night for their farewell Sunsets tour. Acer was rather hard to get to initially, requiring a bus trip to Strathfield station then to Lidcombe and eventually Sydney Olympic Park. That was quite frustrating. Bertie Blackman and Jet were the two supports - both were quite good though I couldn't really get into the latter.

Most of the crowd were Aussie and it was quite hard to find another Asian other than myself and my friend, Cecilia. However, the main focus was the band themselves and they were amazing live. Honestly speaking, I never would've even thought to see them if they were not splitting but once I heard they were parting ways, I knew I had to seize the chance to hear them play their iconic songs once in my lifetime. Yeah...I really didn't even know half the songs they played but that was okay, the concert was great overall. Listening to My Happiness live with 15,000 other fans in the arena will be a moment I will never forget. It's spine tingling to hear everyone belt the same lyrics in unison, farewelling a truly iconic Australian band. Powderfinger ended the night with 'These Days' - a fitting end to farewell their incredibly successful music career.... It was a bittersweet moment and that was it, the ultimate goodbye.

I'll be uploading a few vids on youtube soon. I want you all to feel the intense energy of the fans singing along to My Happiness and These Days. So surreal, so amazing.

Dear Mark Zuckerberg

Hey yo Mark. I know you all tech savy and shit, I really freaking appreciate your efforts in elevating the enjoyable aspects of stalking. But srsly, NO FUCKING WALL TO WALL? WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM HUH? I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT MY FRIEND WROTE AND NOW I MUST OPEN A NEW TAB TO REPLY SO THAT I CAN SWITCH BACK AND FORTH.
I don't have that good a memory!!! Srsly......way too inconvenient. And yes, I think the font size is way too small. The new interface is clearly a downgrade and not appreciated. With every facebook change, there is bound to be inevitable dislike. However, I've never complained about it but I must say, this new move is facebook going backwards. Mark Zuckerberg, is it because you watched 'The Social Network'? I'm sorry if they portrayed you as a wanker, sociopath retard, but you don't need to take revenge upon us...normal facebook users. Perhaps you could hack into the director's account and do malicious harm to it, whatever.

Rant over. Thanks. I demand an applaud.

"Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it's not because they enjoy solitude. It's because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them."

- Jodi Picoult; My Sister's Keeper

"Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness."

— Maya Angelou

"Why do people have to be this lonely? What's the point of it all? Millions of people in this world, all of them yearning, looking to others to satisfy them, yet isolating themselves. Why? Was the earth put here just to nourish human loneliness?"

— Haruki Murakami

They took off for the mystery zone

This song is fucking great. Builds up appropriately, leaves you wanting for more. Gosh, I shouldn't have left Spoon just there in my iTunes library...should listen to them more.



Anyhow, Happy November. Scary how October's over already...though I don't have much recollection of what happened during October except I was stuck at home studying for the HSC. Not fun innit? The other recollection I have of October is excessive tutoring at Tipps...3 and 4 hour sessions for around 4 times a week (during the holidays). It was long and gruelling, I honestly thought they were never going to end...and now the reality is that, I'll never be sitting there learning and doing maths anymore. Weird how times flies...moreso scary. Strange. Though, I must those tutoring sessions were pretty fun though, given that my tutor made us FOOD (AWESOME NOODLES AND STUFF) to satisfy our hunger (due to the need of brain food).

I don't know what's up with my body but I haven't been sleeping well lately. I always fall asleep almost an hour after I first lie in bed, so it gets rather uncomfortable. It's probably a naive way to fix my retarded body clock, but I've been trying to wake up earlier...so that I become more exhausted by night. But what do you know? It's not bloody working. I'm fine right now, pretty darn pumped (though not for any more chemistry nor physics). All I want to do is just, well, watch videos on youtube and have fun (though alas, I cannot because I am stuck in this rut called the HSC). Anyhow, I'M AN INSOMNIAC! Gosh, I really will endeavour to fix my up sleeping patterns after all these exams....Blah!

TIME REALLY FLIES GUYS! I CAN STILL REMEMBER THE FIRST DAY OF JANUARY, 2010. I WAS IN HONG KONG, PREPARING TO LEAVE FOR AUSTRALIA. WHAT THE HELL. I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN CHEATED OF MY TIME. WHERE HAVE I BEEN? :'(