Haunting

Reading this while listening to Delphic's 'This Momentary' with scenes of the abandoned city Pripyat interposed is chilling. What are we going to do with Fukushima? Some say nuclear reactors are the only way out of our ever increasing consumption of electricity. I don't know what to do.

Famous angels never come through England

The temperatures in Sydney have dropped dramatically, hovering around the 15 - 17 degrees Celsius mark and its starting to finally to feel as if we're heading into cooler weather. It's the last day of April - a rather shocking fact to realise. The past two months seemed like a whim and I really don't have much recollection as to what had happened but only a slight understanding that I was stuck in a routine. And as I think back to 2010, I don't remember much of it either. Perhaps its the effect of routine, once you immerse yourself fully into something that you do so laboriously, you start to lose yourself and forget about life on the outside.

I can still remember that day in London when we treaded to Buckingham Palace to witness the change of guard. The day was chilly, excessively so and despite wearing those thick winter jackets, nothing seemed to be able to keep me warm enough. It was terribly cold, even more so with the dribbling rain that never seemed to stop and regardless of what type of rain, the English don't seem to use umbrellas at all but only take refuge through their beanies and hats. Anyhow, we walked from Victoria Station to the gates of Buckingham Palace, shoving our way through the other eager tourists and somehow, found a spot by the gate. My hands were frozen and the leather gloves, which I had bought the day before, didn't seem to work as they were pretty wet themselves. Most of the ceremony of the change of guard was cancelled due to the weather which naturally, got us pretty disappointed from making the trek to Central London from the suburbs and exposed to the chilly weather. Nevertheless, we headed indoors to the Queen's gift shop and here we saw, merchandise celebrating the wedding of William and Kate. Upon seeing those ceramics that were beautifully decorated with their names and the date of their wedding, I scoffed to myself, thinking that their wedding was ages away. April! Dah, centuries away! And here we are, on the very last day of April, the Royal Wedding had already taken place and we are heading off into May. Time really does escape you sometimes.

Lisztomania, think less but see it grow.

Edwin van Cleef - Lisztomania (feat. Jane Elizabeth Hanley) by Edwin van Cleef
Female vocals on a Phoenix cover? Genius.

Thoughts

Eight weeks of university have flown by and here they are, the mid-sem breaks. The joy met with their arrival was celebrated by my uni mates by hosting an 'End of Mid-Sems' Outing to the city on Wednesday after our last exam, biomechanics. I suppose I did have fun though my wallet perhaps did not agree so. Appetito on The Rocks was the place and yes, what lovely furnishings and ambient lighting but asking $26.50 for a bowl of fettucine pasta is just ridiculous, though the price may be reflective of their location. Friday (gettin' down on...) was the group dinner to Sizzler at Kogarah. Oh dear old Kogarah, it's been a while. I ordered their filet steak mignon, since it looked pretty nice on the menu and so thereby, expected it to taste...somewhat different. The red wine jus complimented the beef well though the mignon tasted just like a steak - not worth the $29.95 I paid. Although I just did some research and wikipedia informed me that that cut of beef is usually the most tender and expensive. No wonder.

So uni has taught me many things (as it should) and I've grown to like Usyd. However, I don't think physiotherapy is really the course for me. I find myself much more interested and inclined to the study of body systems rather than the gross anatomy of the body, which is a key component to the study of physiotherapy. To change courses to medicine has been on my mind since day one of starting physio and my desire to do it has been stronger than ever. What physio has shown is only a segment of the human body and how it works and it renders itself to be more intriguing than ever, something that I really want to pursue and learn. I'm willing to undertake the torture known as the UMAT again in hope for a place in undergraduate medicine next year. And if I get in, I know it will be hard work, even more so than what physio is demanding of me but I believe that studying it will be a real privilege and I hope that that is what I am able to do in the very near future. Here starts the journey for medicine again...

Bondi

Bondi Beach at Night
22/04/2011

Lovers in Japan

You should be good.
how are you?

Dinner

It was my turn to cook last night..

I really need to learn how to not use every single plate/bowl in the pantry.

Anyhow, after months of craving Eton Mess after having it for the first time in the UK, I finally made it. It was so delicious and I am pretty much addicted to it right now. It's probably one of the simplest desserts to make (you can whip it up in 10 minutes et voila!) and perhaps, one of the most scrumptious.

What I'm into lately.

All images sourced from the sartorialist.

To buy:

- Hat

- better pair of combat boots; not those shitty ones from wittner

- long black chiffon skirt

- a nice coat

For death

If today was my last day on earth, I'd be leaving the earth feeling though I've not lived but only experienced a static existence. In all my 17 years of mere life, I suppose many things have happened but amongst the highs there are the lows, filled with regrets that haunt me till the very day. How can one possibly live life without any regrets whatsoever? Those who have accomplished that, I commend you for being so brave - facing your fears and achieving what you have set to do so in this temporal life we lead.

I wonder why things are the way they are. Apparently, the years of being a young adult is when you're most vulnerable to lapsing into depression. I hardly find that surprising because these are the most crucial years that shape your outlooks and when your mind is most active and critical.

It must be widely stereotyped, but growing up as an Asian in a western culture has probably induced more problems within than if I were back in Hong Kong. You see aspects to many things and struggle to find the median balance - one where you'll experience harmony. I used to not think my parents as not the pushy Asian parent achieving types though recently have discovered they are perhaps no different to those stereotypically portrayed in the media. Education is important but I'm finding it to be something that I am losing touch with. Learning is interesting but I feel hat my passions lie elsewhere.

And death, why must you always intrigue me so? If I were to die tonight, I'd leave the world with regrets. Then I'd probably bid farewell thee and whisper, the second before I close my eyes, that my heart has more love than it really can contain. I love many people, but sometimes you really can't show it.
If reincarnation is real, I want to come back into this beautiful world as a bird...

In due time

My procrastination has taken to new levels with me feeling an incredible itch to organise my next 18th birthday party. This was all catalysed by reading the Sun Herald where I found a review of the 'Hunky Dory Social Club' located in Paddington. The pictures were quite alluring, as it was a rooftop bar with overgrown shrubs - apparently, exuding a Manhattan atmosphere. And so began my interest in finding a bar to host my 18th party. I had initially wanted a 90s themed 18th, because I am in utter love with the 90s and am sometimes overly nostalgic for that era...but now, I just want to host it at a pretty rooftop bar. The Hunky Dory looks pretty nice though I am not sure how much that is going to cost me. I don't even know if I want it to be big either...or will it be just a girls thing or have just an amalgamation of shizzle. And holy shit, I'm looking at 'The Wine Suites' at Manly. Damn that place is beautiful. Aw man, The Winery at Gazebo is nice too.

Man, I have no freaking clue. I know I don't want a trashy party - wait no-one would want that anyway. I do want people to have fun though I don't want to blow my wallet. Oh what to do.

Screw that, MACCAS FTW

Whenever I fall at your feet.

Crowded House's 'Fall at Your Feet' is perhaps one of the most beautiful and pure songs ever written. I really love Boy and Bear's very recent cover though it never can trump the original.

Anyhow, I feel like I've been very fickle with everything lately. My concentration has flown out the window and I find myself daydreaming a lot. I'm beginning to warm up to university although the thought of mid-semester exams is not exactly the type of thought that 'warms' my heart. Haha. The experience of university is strange to say the very least. I thought I'd grow to become one who'd favour university right from the beginning but right to my sentimental nature, I've not been one who has embraced university from the start. Getting back into routine is always good I suppose though there are it's ultimate downfalls where 24 hours a day never does seem quite enough.

The most amazing thing about uni though, is the amount of knowledge that you gain. It's only been 6 weeks but I feel like I have doubled the amount of knowledge that I had to begin with from the remnants of HSC. You really do most of your learning here and the human brain capacity continues to astound.

Can you believe Easter is on its way? I can still recall the very first time I went to the Easter show with friends...boy, that was fun. And so began the meeting of almost everyone in the grade. Bic Runga's Sway always reminds me of that time period c. 2006. Debbie and I were on a ride where we were situated on kite like structures, simulating the flight of birds or something or rather. Whilst we were up in the air, 'Sway' started to play and at that moment, I felt truly free and loved life to its core. Listening to this song always evokes that feeling.

Watching vimeo really makes me want to enrol in a film making short course or something.

Muse Medley

Awesome stuff.

Complex

Sometimes I wish I was a genius, being able to understand all the complexities of science and be able to know why such and such occurs. The universe is an utterly amazing treasure, a place where nature continues to astound us with it's unpredictability. I watched a rather intriguing documentary on SBS tonight, talking about how small atoms can make such complicated things. Naturally, it was a physicist who presented this program, who delved into chaos theory and the butterfly effect. From the mere hour I watched it, I was unable to comprehend what it all meant properly but this was applied to how things were arranged in the world. And then evolution. What an amazing feat. Mathematical equations were plugged into a computer with simulations mimicking the processes of evolution, how natural selection has shaped humans today. It all comes down to something to do with chaos, how orderly yet drastically chaotic our universe is made.

I suppose I am not making any sense here because I myself don't really totally understand such complex physics but times like this, when the universe's intricacies are so intriguing, I just wish I had the genius.

Muddled

This assertion may make me sound like a typical teenager but one of my favourite past times ever is listening to music. It is so cathartic and the incredible sparse guitar sounds or perhaps nauseating beats can bring you to an entirely different world. Music is associated with the emotional sensory area in the brain, an incredible feat if you think about it and thereby, that's why you can sense chills down your spines as you listen to music (sometimes). And what I've realised throughout time is that music really does take me from highs to lows. I can't imagine the world without such sounds. Music fuels heartbreak yet fosters ecstasy.

One of my greatest regrets in life truly is not learning how to play an instrument. I wish I had the ability to seamlessly strum out any song or to be able to have the incredible gift to learn by ear. In an effort to overcome this, I recently picked up the guitar and learnt how to play the opening to Radiohead's High and Dry. For a beginner, it is hard because I am not used to tensing my fingers and arranging them in such a way to play those chords which are pretty easy yet quite complex to me.

And what else? Ah, the Great Australian Cliche - moving to England once you've finished tertiary education. After university, I plan to work in Australia as a physiotherapist for around 2 years to garner experience and after that, hope to find work in the UK. I've truly fallen in love with that place and I am yearning to step foot into it again. Take me back, London! And I truly hope it happens :S

The Zonoscope Tour

Cut Copy. Ah yes, I've been enamoured with their latest release for ages and was initially going to skip out on their concert. Then came along Gypsy and the Cat where they announced shows that were only for adults. Bugger. So then I decided to purchase tickets to Cut Copy at the Enmore and now I am so excited. This will mark the 2nd time I'm seeing them...It's going to be a good one I know, cause once you're in the concert, their show just feels like a cosmic dance party. Hahaha.

Can't wait to have my heart ignited on fire again and to hear their newest songs translated to live music.

Anyway, on a side note...I am quite happy with my layout. It looks so clean, yay!

Take Me Over - Cut Copy