Saturday night in East Berlin

photo by phixotography

what do you think of dying? sometimes, i want to die. there are times when you feel most vulnerable and all you want to do is find an escape from the passing reality that is in front of you. sometimes i also wish that it were the olden days where women's primary preoccupations were to run errands around the home...not education. but look where society has brought us to? women's education is equally important as men's education. why do i have these thoughts? university had probably taken its toll on my sanity. i find myself trying so hard to do so much work, to remember the ever increasing content to the point where i find that it becomes hard to comprehend. and therefore, i wish that an education in university wasn't vital. it's not that i don't like learning, in fact, its something i love doing but the way that it is presented to me in this fashion is not something i like i suppose. everything is grey in my course, i find myself jumping from different websites to different textbooks to find a concrete answer to some of the most petty pieces of information. and then the lecturer says that not many textbooks have that answer to that objective, isn't that just wonderful.

and dying. im sure everyone has thought about death. and how, at their weakest moments, they just want all this to pass and stop feeling, cease the pain and move on to eternity, where they may sleep forever in peace. there are so many times when i feel weak, when i can hardly keep my head above the water and there are times when i nearly drown. but i take a step back and look at the big picture and realise that the problems i am going through are probably not going to drastically weigh me down in the near future. who cares if i don't get the desired result for that test/quiz? life goes on, friend. one day this will soon be over and in the flashback before death, i wonder what i'll see.