Farewell to the fairground, these rides aren't working anymore

Sometimes, I know that friends are there to help you and to console you. I don't deny it but I am pretty irrational sometimes, unable to see past things and perhaps I'm quite stubborn too. I have this friend whom I know is nice to me and wants the very best for me. She cares, I know she does but sometimes, the words that come out of her either via mouth or most often by writing, they do cut. And the way that she looks at things is different to what I see and I can't help but wish she wouldn't force her thinking upon me and devalue what I value the most... It's happened quite a few times, she unknowingly does it and I try to ease my displeasure by passing off everything as a joke, laughing it off and using different words.

I'm going to a wedding tonight. I haven't been to one since May 09 and that was a nice one I spose. Actually, what was nice about it was the drive up to Terrey Hills. I downloaded Passion Pit's Manners that day, loaded it onto my iPod and listened to the album in whole as I stared out the window, watching the world past by. 'Swimming in the Flood' came on and I immediately fell in love in that song. Now I associate that time period with that song and that song does nothing but evoke glorious memories.

Commuting is lonely. I commute alone everyday...well, pretty much so. Despite that, I find most of my inspiration from these lonely commutes to the point that I based my HSC belonging narrative on a train ride in Tokyo - something I'll never forget. It's sometimes overwhelming to be there at the train station so early in the morning. Everyone in the carriage is falling asleep, not many words are spoken and the distances between strangers is so wide despite us being physically close to one another. As the train speeds through the tunnels, we move together one side or another, due to something about physics which I cannot be bothered to think of right now, we hit one another, say a soft spoken apology and keep on focusing whatever clouds our minds at the very moment. Trains are like carriages for dreams. So many different people there, so many unrealised or realised dreams, so many paths intertwining, crossing...you name it. It's a melting pot of different lives on the one train and at the end of it all, we leave to pursue our different paths. It scares me. I don't know why. Maybe its because I realise how big the world is.