Afraid of Everyone

So, due to my procrastination, I've been looking at people's facebooks. I refresh my feed and see one of my friends, whom I met with 2006, having been separated from her boyfriend... And I looked over to her page and could not believe that it's been 5 years since I first met her. It's funny what time does to your friendships with people.

I met this girl at cadets and I used to be close to her, she being two grades above me. I can still recall when I first got MySpace, it was all new and she was the first ones whom I added and talked to. We had many conversations on the site and I always had looked forward to chatting with her and very quickly, we became really good friends. Sometimes I do regret deleting my myspace, only because there were so many memories which I have there and now I can never go back to retrieve as they have become virtual junk. But nevertheless, time acted, she discovered drugs and partying and we lost touch, her being the first one to leave cadets...

It's rather frightening to look back now and see how fast she has become a stranger to me now. I miss her friendship dearly but I do believe that our friendship cannot go anywhere beyond facebook. I did try to 'catch up' with her once but that never occurred for I think she is one who moves on with friendships. I feel like I am talking about a relationship here but fear not...

I wonder what friendships I will still have in five years time. Will those close to me now drift away from me and will I have a new set of friends? I certainly hope the ones I have close to me remain here for I cannot bear the thought of seeing any of them as strangers down the track.

I guess its the nature of some people though. If you try to maintain a friendship, it will work. But some people, when they meet new people and discover more, they just...forget... So, how many friends have I lost over time? Many. And here arises another trouble. I do miss some of my friends....yet I am always so afraid of seeming annoying to them...for they appear to have a much 'larger' life of their own, or it seems as though they just inhabit a different world. It's late and I am not making much sense. Ugh.