Jungle

Tonight is one of those nights when I have exhausted everything to do and watch on the internet and those that are on my hard drive. I just don't feel like it despite having an excessive overload of tv shows and movies to watch. I started watching 'Community' and I quite like it, however, I feel no motivation to finish a fair few episodes.

The holidays do something strange to me. Perhaps its the lack of preoccupation and a lack of direction in knowing what to do with my sudden increase in time. During the semester, it seemed that watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother was way more luring than studying away for say anatomy or neuroscience. But right now, I don't feel like that either. I feel like I am becoming a recluse to say the very least.

I have talked to friends...by means of digital communication as of late...as in these few days. I had gone out with other friends on the first few days of holidays but that was a while ago. I suppose I feel somewhat bored and lack of human interaction (excluding family members) is starting to take its toll.

I guess I should have blogged about how I felt with regard to finishing the first year of uni ever. Fast. That's one of the key words I must use to describe the year. It was just fast and a new experience as a whole. I met so many friends for life and I can clearly remember all those times loathing how far away Lidcombe campus is away from home, rendering its inaccessibility and how desolate university felt at times. But time flies, things change and my vitriol for the campus manifested to a tough love sort of thing. I grew attached to Lidcombe and those commutes every morning and every afternoon soon became enjoyable experiences. As soon as I jumped on the train and said goodbye to every classmate, I had time to think and just reflect about life, it was relaxing. I must seem very repetitive because I have written about the growth in friendships amongst my uni mates and I, but having friends who are all nice and genuine is a wonderful feeling. I guess I had only become to feel like I could trust anyone in semester 2...as in Sem 1 I was a girl who was just afraid. But ever since then, uni has become a great new adventure. Those 'you had to be there'/'inside jokes' have started to manifest and I am confident there are soon to be many more.

Anyway, enough about university and all that. I feel like I have grown a lifetime this year. The whole block of high school is...petty compared in a way. Sure I may have hit puberty then (still am ridden with puberty blues ala acne on my face as of now) but growing up and maturing mentally did not exactly correlate to physical changes in duration.

Something has been plaguing my mind for a while. It's a really complicated situation, something that is not right on my behalf. Am I giving any hints? I'll be going out tomorrow...perhaps I can sort things out by sharing my matters with some close friends. It's getting a little overwhelming right now....just dealing with this myself. =\