Augustine.

You know what? I think people tend to settle for mediocrity because it's easy. It's not bad nor is it any good so we just choose the easiest way out and just accept for what it is. 

I've always been a person who believed in passion, follow your heart and do not give in to what others say you cannot do, because this is your life and if you don't believe, who else is gonna help you? No one. But lately, mediocrity has got to me in the sense that I am starting to budge into whatever is easiest and that I've been losing that inspiration I had with life before. I don't know, does it mean I am growing up? Growing up to realising that life really doesn't behave the way you want it to sometimes and therefore, you just learn to accept whatever you have and move on with life. 

Sometimes, I don't feel as much anymore. I really don't hope to sound like the biggest drama queen...but in all honesty, as of late, I've been disappointed repeatedly, it just never seems to stop ending. The amount of disappointments and bad things just outweigh the good immensely and then I start to resolve that it must be me that is the problem. Well, what other problem could it be? Because it is my life that I am living and all the choices that I make are inevitably going to influence it in one way or another. There are also times when I just wish I was another person for once, maybe like a normal Asian girl or something. That sounds selfish because everyone has their own problems and there goes the saying where if we all chucked our problems into one pile, we'd take them all back. True. But it'd be nice to take a break from these problems we all had and see things from another perspective. That's the poison of the mind, we're all individuals and hence, we can never see the other way out as easily as others can. 

I am still resenting technology. I have been quite extreme with it all to be quite frank. I wish I never yearned for an iPhone because I just hate technology with so much of a passion, it's destroying all meaningful relationships and everything good about life. It disgusts me how hopelessly I am addicted to technology, to my iPhone even because I am just so yearning to be connected to everyone. And yet ironically, I feel disconnected because of this connection. Annoying.